I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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