Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize