Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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