Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
