is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
