he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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