so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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