Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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