Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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