your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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