she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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