you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
