Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
