with your own penis?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
