Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
