That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
