Quick, to the slutcave!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
