hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
