i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
