look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
