i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Still dying that you shit outside
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
