fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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