new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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