dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
