Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
