Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize