Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize