You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
