yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
