I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
