new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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