Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
