Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
