My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
