Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
