I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
