She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
