I looked at my own cervix.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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