I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
