i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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