I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
