Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize