No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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