i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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