ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sext me about skeletons
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
