its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she peed on how many people?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
