the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
