Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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