Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
