i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
