i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
