Michael Bay diarrhea
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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