nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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