So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
