and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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