She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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