I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
