Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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