sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
