There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
