who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
