I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
