You really coming over, don't trick.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
