why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We need to get me chipped asap
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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