The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize