I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
